The idea of becoming a parent can seem daunting and frankly a bit scary - you’re responsible for this little bundle of joy and you wonder if you’re going to be able to handle it. Don’t worry, you can and you will. Here are some of my tips from the other side - speaking as a mother to three little ones.
Not everything goes to plan
Sometimes you have to abandon the birth plan you’ve spent months preparing and it can feel you leaving quite deflated or even upset, which is totally understandable.
All three of my births have been totally different in one way or another and none of them have gone to plan. But the children and myself are safe and healthy and that’s what is important.
All babies are different
Try not to get caught up in comparing your baby to others. It’s hard when you hear that your friends little one sleeps well, has gained weight or reached a milestone quicker, but all babies develop at different rates and if you get consumed by comparison it will take the joy out of those special moments.
Consider secondhand
It’s your first baby and you might want to have the best of everything and that’s totally fine. But babies grow so quickly that you might want to grab some of the bigger bits of equipment secondhand. Whether they’ve been handed down by friends or you grab a bargain from Facebook marketplace, it’s a great way to save money and also be more sustainable.
Don’t clean for your visitors
Your friends and family don’t care about how tidy your house is. They just want to come and see you and the baby. They might even want to help! So don’t be afraid to ask for it. Let them watch the baby whilst you have a quick shower, or hold the baby so you can have a warm cuppa. I remember being so incredibly tired and my friend said ‘Do you want a cuppa?’ And before I knew it not only had she made me one, she’d cleaned my kitchen. I was so grateful for the help because it was one less thing I had to do that day and it’s something I’ve done for friends since.
Take some time for you
Self care is so important. You’ll hear ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ a hundred times over. But sleep deprivation can be beyond exhausting and can really take its toll on how you’re feeling emotionally. Alongside trying to get some rest, make some time for you. Even if it’s just a long shower or popping to the shop for some milk on your own, you’ll feel like a new you. I also found setting small amounts of time aside everyday to do things like having a cuppa, reading a magazine or watching something other than baby tv for half an hour really helped.
Making time for each other
Sometimes you forget about yourself and everyone else around you when suddenly have this tiny little person to take care of. Try and set some time aside for each other. You don’t have to rush out on a date if you don’t feel comfortable leaving the baby. Have a date night at home, cuddle, hold hands. The small moments of affection is what you’ll both need to feel connected.
Take advice with a pinch of salt
Everyone will suddenly be telling you all of this new information and everyone will have a different opinion on how to look after your baby. It can get a little overwhelming. Do what works for you, follow your own instincts and make your own decisions.
